Kate
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Hello and welcome to The Gale Hill Radio Hour.
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This is Kate Jones, here with Jondi Whitis,
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a master trainer in EFT whose
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calling is helping others feel better fast.
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EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques,
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otherwise known as tapping.
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Jondi, thanks so much for coming back on the show!
Jondi
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A great pleasure. Always fun to be with you.
Kate
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So fun for me as well. Emotional freedom…
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seems as if everyone could use more of that these days.
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With everything going on in the world and the constant stream
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of information and misinformation, we’re feeling
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pretty anxious. Are you finding that to be true in your work?
Jondi
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Absolutely. I don’t
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think we’ve ever had a greater percentage of people
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who describe themselves as feeling anxious. And in the past
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I used to hear them say, I’m worried. I’m worried all the time.
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Now that word has changed to anxious.
Kate
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Wow. So how do you
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define what’s going on in the world, what we’re feeling about
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what’s going on in the world?
Jondi
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Well, in professional terms, I think there’s chronic anxiety from unrest and uncertainty.
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And in Jondi speak, I think I’d say it’s everything
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all at once, all the time, every day.
Kate
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I like that. So the other question is,
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what can we do about it to help ourselves and
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the world?
Jondi
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Well, that is the million dollar question. I suspect there’s quite a few answers out there,
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but a lot of them share what I would call
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common sense and universal truths, as well
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as some modern solutions.
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Common sense would say it’s important
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that you find out what exactly that feeling,
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that outcome for you might be all about.
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Because after all, emotions are signals
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of information designed to help
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you not only survive, but maybe better.
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So the first thing everyone, I think, could agree on
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is if you find out what it is that
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upsets you the most or gives you worries, then you’re
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going to have a better chance of looking at it squarely and resolving
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it, of saying to yourself things like,
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"Well, I’m not sure that’s true, but it sure does feel that way,"
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or "I’m not sure this is anything
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that’s in my control." Then again,
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so much is not. So maybe I can tell the truth,
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very simply the truth about, well, I do feel
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out of control, and yet I know that’s not in my control.
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And therefore, well, what could I do about
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that very upsetting thing that’s outside of my control?
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So these are actually kind of cognitive habits.
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Thankfully, we also have much more. Modern medicine
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would say the last 30 years, especially the last
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ten, that says, you know, there’s something called
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the mind-body connection, which tells
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us how that cognitive information of I’m
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really upset is binging off.
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That’s my professional word, binging off.
Kate
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It sounds very professional!
Jondi
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Isn’t it? The feelings, which is also another word for sensations and
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emotions. These are all different things, slightly.
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All of that is binging back and forth and back and
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forth. And if we don’t stop and say,
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wait a minute, let’s see what exactly is going on,
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then we’re going to be encouraged just to do it faster and
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faster because this information deluge
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is coming at us from everywhere.
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So I don't think we’re encouraged to spend a lot
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of time sitting with,
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taking a moment, take five, take a breath.
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I don’t think we’re encouraged to do that. But in the last 30 years,
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we’ve learned how important it is for our body
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to be part of this solution.
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And that's where mind body, I say, well,
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it's probably better to say body mind, because if we
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treat the body, it’s going to be a faster path to
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the mind. I often say that the cognitive,
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the prefrontal cortex, is the last to know,
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right? This newest part of our evolutionary
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brain is the last to know. So if you want quick results, if you
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want to feel better fast, maybe we should not start here.
Kate
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Interesting.
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You have said that
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all of us are healing agents. All of
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us can make it better. Quote unquote,
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“It all starts with me.”
Jondi
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I own it, yes.
Kate
“It’s all an inside job.”
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I think those are such
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empowering thoughts.
Jondi
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Thank you. I do too. And for a world that feels
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like it’s out of control and I am out of power and there’s nothing
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I can do, isn’t it very empowering
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to go, wait a minute, I am in control of me.
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I am in control of what I’m thinking, what I’m choosing to do
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about it. And in that we go
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all the way to the front of that paragraph, I am a healing agent
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for myself. And even better news, I can be a
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healing agent for others by showing up as my peaceful best
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self, as my grounded, put-together,
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best Jondi I can
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that is going to be a healing agent for all the people I come in
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contact with.
Kate
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That just makes me tingle all over because
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it's so incredible what
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you do for yourself, you do for other people as
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well.
Jondi
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And I’m sure you know a lot of people that are in the helping department or the helping professions,
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many of them were raised and conditioned to have
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to help others, to have to put others
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first, to have to do it till they
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dropped from exhaustion. It is a very old
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story of Americanism, and maybe it
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started with the Puritans, I don’t know, but it’s very popular. And in this way,
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you go, wait. What if
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it’s enough as a healing agent of helping other
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people that I simply show up ready,
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able, capable,
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calm to offer help
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instead of feeling compelled like I have to?
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No, I actually. Now that I’m grounded
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and calm, I can choose to show
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up. I can choose to be a healing agent. I can choose to
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offer, "Might I help you with that?
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How may I best support you? What would you have me
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do that would bring you some peace in this moment?"
Kate
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That is so beautiful.
Jondi
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I think we are beautiful when we’re in our best self, Kate. I do.
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And to get back to that state,
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though, is a tricky business these days, because we’re so
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hyper-reactive to the many, many triggers
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and prompts coming in,
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and we’re just not encouraged to take the time
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to do this. We may be saying, take a vacation or you should take a
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nap, you should take a bath, but that’s
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not really what we’re talking about. It’s a great idea.
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It’s a start, but it’s not really what we’re talking about.
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The kind of mindful, conscious self-care we’re
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talking about is knowing that I can help others even better,
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whether I’m compelled or I just want
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to. Even better when I am my best self. And my
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best self comes from slowing down,
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really getting some clarity about what is going on,
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what is mine to do, and how can I best go about
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that? If we do that, our outcomes are just guaranteed
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to be better than knee-jerk reactive responses,
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which I think we see a lot of those, whether they're in the
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street or at the grocery store, in Congress, it doesn’t matter.
Kate
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Wow. That’s really wonderful.
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So we need to believe these thoughts that we are powerful,
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that we have that within us to
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work on ourselves, to heal ourselves, to be our best selves.
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And then what steps
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do we take to do something with them? I really like
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the quote I read recently. It came
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from Joan Baez. The quote is,
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“Action is the antidote to despair.” So what
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are some ways we can take action?
Jondi
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Well, I’m not going to quibble with someone as brilliant as Joan,
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but I’m going to say taking conscious action is something
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that I would put in there, because anger left
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unexpressed becomes fury and rage.
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And the impetus of that emotion set
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is to take action. But if it’s unconsidered action.
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If it is unconscious action, things are not
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going to turn out so well. Right? So conscious
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action is what I would encourage. And I
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cannot do that in knee jerk. I can't do that in reactivity.
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I really can’t. And that's something I think we
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need people to take in. I used
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to say this phrase, feeling is believing when I was
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teaching them to tap. Because I said, you don’t have to believe me.
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I’m not here to convince you. I am here to introduce you
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to something that might be helpful, but you're going to be the judge
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based on what you feel and observe taking
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place within you. So,
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believing. Yeah, I do need to believe that before
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I’m going to put too much investment into action
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around something. But feeling
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into belief, I think, is a
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better way for me to be convinced because
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I can tell myself to do anything. I could tell myself
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to have willpower, be courageous, be brave.
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The rest of me is frequently not on board.
Kate
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That’s very right. What do
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we do about that? What do we do about believing
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it?
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I want to ask this question because it popped into my mind
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last night to ask you this, and it feels like
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maybe it’s taking away a little bit, but actually, I think
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it’s on target with what we’re talking about.
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What do you think are some of the best ways to achieve
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clarity, understanding and peace?
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And I think you need all of those to get to that sense
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of belief in your own power
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to heal an emotion, for instance.
Jondi
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Well, it’s a great combination, but I think
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they build on each other. Maybe it's not "but," maybe it’s "and." And they build
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on each other. At the risk of being very partisan,
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tapping is a wonderful way to achieve very
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fast clarity. I can only tell you that
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it allows all of your jangling
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thoughts to get out of the way and your nervous system to calm
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so that you have access, better access to your
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resourcefulness, to your knowledge, to your
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learning. So tapping is the
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quickest way I know to get there. But it doesn't really
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matter to me if you choose another modality. The idea is,
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I want to be clear about what's going on, because then
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I can understand it better. And if I can understand it better,
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then I see my role within it. And if I see my role
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within it and I can take action that’s in alignment with that role,
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I have peace.
Kate
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Bingo. I love it. That is terrific.
Jondi
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Excellent. Well, I’m glad I could help.
Kate
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Well, you have indeed. Okay. You have
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described tapping as a self-care tool
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anyone can do to navigate life experiences.
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“Tapping is about telling the simple truth,
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and the first person to tell it to is ourself.”
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Love that, Jondi.
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Me, too. Thank you. I’ve been working on my book for. I’m embarrassed to tell you how many years I get lost
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in several rabbit holes that I want to talk about.
Kate
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I understand that.
Jondi
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Well, I appreciate your forbearance there, but I do believe with all my heart that is true.
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And I have at least 20 years invested in this experimentation
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that keeps coming up with validation and results.
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So there are so many times that we
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are encouraged. I’m going to try to chunk this
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down. We are encouraged from the get-go by
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our supervising adults,
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whoever they may be, to do certain things that are
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really more about socialization and convenience
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than truth. So, from the
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get-go, we’re encouraged not to do or say
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what we feel, which I understand why. I’m just
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saying that. Right? “Stop crying. It’s really not that bad…
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Go kiss your Uncle Jim. You’re going to make him feel bad.
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What a bad person you are that you don’t just
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want to do this automatically… And I don’t know what's wrong with you, and why
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can’t you be like… And I don’t understand why you’re feeling bad about yourself…”
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But, I mean, look at all the stuff. It goes on and on and on
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and on. And before we know it, we’re conditioned
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into not believing ourselves and the feelings and emotions
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that are genuine and the actions we wish to
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take because of it. So we are very
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suppressive in that conditioned way for good
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reasons, I suppose. But as we get
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older, some people have
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never felt like they have permission to say,
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well, “How do I really feel? Well, what is my truth?
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Well, what do I want to do?” And it’s very
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sad to find a lot of adults in midlife that don’t know
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they’re allowed to even ask the question, much less
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take up the question and do something with
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it. So, in this way, I would just
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say, encouraging people in
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a safe environment,
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that means with somebody you feel good about or you trust,
16:23.888 --> 16:27.626
right? To say, could you sit for a
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minute and tell me, “Well, what’s your best guess
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about the truth of that for you?” Now you’re
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starting to introduce them to the fact that truth is somewhat conditional and
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very subjective and very personal. And you don’t
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have to get in a fight about universal truth, God’s truth, anybody else’s
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truth. You start where you are, which is always my
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solution. Start where you are. And you try to get
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to the simple truth of what might
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that be. The biggest truth I’ve ever
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heard is coming out of the kid’s mouth, of course:
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“I don’t know.” And I say, “That is
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wonderful that you know the truth is you don’t know yet.
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You probably haven’t had enough time to think about it
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or go check it out or find out or
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experiment. So that’s true. You just don’t
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know yet. It’s good to tell the truth.”
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And in that way, we start inculcating this idea of personal truth
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at the bottom of things, the foundation of things for
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people. And it’s never too old to learn that, by the
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way. It’s always liberating, no matter what.
Kate
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We’ve always got that little kid inside of us, don’t we?
Jondi
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Front and center. Live with her every day, right?
Kate
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Well, you have written a book about tapping and teaching
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with children, working with children, and using tapping.
Jondi
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True. I mostly feel like I’m a resource writer
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for people in the, I want to say,
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energy healing and modalities field. So I’ve
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got a couple out there that were really intended for people who work in that
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world. But it occurred to me, after I spent
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some time in the Newtown and Sandy Hook recovery project,
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it occurred to me that there were way too many school shootings
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happening all the time. As a matter of fact,
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I don’t know how many happened before I stopped working on that project.
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And I thought, we need to teach children how
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to take care of themselves better, and we need to teach children
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and the people who care for them how to quickly
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return to a resourceful state. So, in other words, I need an in-
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the-moment solution to come back to a centered,
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grounded place. So, body up. It’s not about
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thinking, because in that moment, all the blood is missing.
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It’s gone to our lower extremities for escape purposes.
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So we get kind of stupider the more fearful
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we are. And so we need body level up so the blood
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returns to our prefrontal cortex. And now
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we can be more resourceful with what we know to do.
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This is actually the theory behind fire drills.
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There’s a reason we do it so often. Get up
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from a seat. Take your butt out. No, because when you
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are under threat or surprise like that, you are not
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likely to be thinking clearly, which is why I
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have to embody and embed the information
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as an autopilot, automatic kind of
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response. So I thought, oh, well,
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we’ll just do some more of those. We’ll do some fire drills for self.
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We’ll do some emotional first aid. And so I
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took a lot of different energy modalities
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that I knew, and I adapted little pieces of them to make
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the smallest possible, easily learned, easily done,
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little packets of first aid.
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And so I called it compassion and action.
20:10.446 --> 20:13.906
And one of the subtitles is how to help kids in times of
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trouble or in troubling times. Cheap and available
20:18.156 --> 20:21.794
to everyone on Amazon because I want people to buy several
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copies. And here it is for the pediatric hospital. And here it is for the
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community center. Here it is for day camps.
20:29.180 --> 20:32.502
I really want to spread that kind of helpful
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information to everyone.
Kate
20:36.800 --> 20:40.782
Yes. And it’s got illustrations. It’s a really accessible book
20:40.916 --> 20:44.750
and very charming.
Jondi
20:44.820 --> 20:48.846
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. In the middle, there is sort of a section of charts that would make it
20:48.868 --> 20:52.286
easy for the adult or the administrator to be
20:52.308 --> 20:54.754
able to get to. And I’ve told many people,
20:54.872 --> 20:58.130
Xerox those charts in the middle and laminate them
20:58.200 --> 21:01.650
and hang them on the wall. Just make them, because,
21:01.720 --> 21:04.646
you know us, we’re like, oh, where did I put that now that I need
21:04.668 --> 21:08.486
it? Because we can’t think very well when we’re upset. And I
21:08.508 --> 21:11.942
just supplied some to another project that’s taking place
21:11.996 --> 21:15.558
in Kenya and Uganda for their bush schools. And that’s what
21:15.564 --> 21:18.578
I asked them to do. “I’m going to give you the books, and now you
21:18.604 --> 21:22.826
raise a little bit of money to laminate them at
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your store in the capital so that you can take them out into the
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bush and they’ll be long lasting.
Kate
21:29.970 --> 21:34.202
That’s terrific. So how do people find out more about tapping,
21:34.266 --> 21:37.742
about your work? I know you have, well, you mentioned
21:37.796 --> 21:40.400
one of your books. You have your books, your website.
21:41.570 --> 21:44.874
How do you want people to find out more?
Jondi
21:45.012 --> 21:49.154
I think it’s probably easy to find me at the website, which is — I made
21:49.192 --> 21:52.706
a new one because the old one was getting complex and
21:52.728 --> 21:56.450
I wanted to be really simple. And it’s jondiwhitis.squarespace.com
21:56.610 --> 22:00.934
because Squarespace has gotten really very popular so
22:00.972 --> 22:04.486
that you can buy, sell, talk, you can do everything kind of
22:04.508 --> 22:08.394
through there that’s already set up. So that
22:08.432 --> 22:12.058
is a good place to find out what you're looking for. Were you looking for
22:12.144 --> 22:16.246
a conversation? Were you looking to be trained professionally?
22:16.438 --> 22:20.414
Because this tool that’s for self-care can be used for self-care and,
22:20.452 --> 22:24.026
in practiced hands, peer-to-peer care and, in very practiced
22:24.058 --> 22:28.142
hands, therapeutic care. So there’s every different level of use
22:28.196 --> 22:31.470
for it. I have mentoring. I have special
22:31.540 --> 22:35.086
events where I will either show a movie
22:35.118 --> 22:38.498
and have discussions, or I will have emotional first aid classes a couple
22:38.504 --> 22:42.386
of times a year. I call it rapid regulation and
22:42.488 --> 22:46.002
relief because that seems to tell people
22:46.056 --> 22:50.066
what it really does. And a lot of people don’t understand emotional
22:50.098 --> 22:53.670
first aid. They go, well, I’m not emotional or, oh, no,
22:53.740 --> 22:56.586
I don’t need any help with that. Or what do you mean? I like my
22:56.608 --> 23:00.826
emotions. So I went, I better name it what it does.
23:01.008 --> 23:03.450
Rapid regulation and relief.
Kate
23:03.790 --> 23:06.540
Yes. And relief is a nice word.
Jondi
23:07.970 --> 23:11.274
It is.
Kate
Is there anything else you’d
23:11.322 --> 23:15.470
like to say on the subject of healing ourselves and/
23:15.540 --> 23:18.778
or healing the world?
Jondi
23:18.874 --> 23:21.380
Goodness, so much! So I’m trying to boil it down.
23:23.350 --> 23:27.742
I would like so much if you could give any modality
23:27.886 --> 23:31.746
a go that would help you to sit
23:31.928 --> 23:35.686
or stay for a moment just
23:35.788 --> 23:40.102
long enough to get a little more information before we
23:40.156 --> 23:43.494
take reactive action. That, I think,
23:43.532 --> 23:47.082
would make a huge difference in the world. So whether you’re using an
23:47.136 --> 23:50.700
app that we created with my friend Manoj Krishna called
23:51.150 --> 23:54.220
better me, happier me. Excuse me, HappierMe.
23:54.590 --> 23:58.074
It used to be called the Human Wisdom project, but it’s a little app
23:58.112 --> 24:01.754in your pocket. And the reason that we created that was another cheap
24:01.802 --> 24:05.598
resource that everybody could carry with them anywhere.
24:05.764 --> 24:09.406
Or if you hear of another modality that you would like —
24:09.428 --> 24:13.238
another one that I love is called Havening. There are various levels
24:13.274 --> 24:17.090
you could use that. It doesn’t matter to me what you use,
24:17.240 --> 24:21.058
because the best way to get it is from somebody you trust
24:21.224 --> 24:24.610
in a moment of calm and peace that you
24:24.680 --> 24:28.326
take yourself. So that’s going to be your decision. “Will I
24:28.348 --> 24:31.862
take a moment and get off the merry-go-round in order
24:31.916 --> 24:35.400
to get a little better tools, a little better information,
24:35.790 --> 24:39.594
and give myself the peace I’m looking for?
Kate
24:39.712 --> 24:44.026
Yes, that’s wonderful. And something that a person can use
24:44.128 --> 24:47.658
every single day and multiple times a day,
24:47.824 --> 24:51.006
if necessary, whenever something comes up.
Jondi
24:51.108 --> 24:54.974
Just take a moment. Self-soothing is
24:55.012 --> 24:58.574
something that we’re designed to do as humans. That’s why you'll see
24:58.612 --> 25:00.320
people go to a little kid,
25:02.630 --> 25:06.206
and then you will see a little kid sitting with their blanket
25:06.238 --> 25:09.380
or their thumb sometimes, and they’ll be going like this,
25:10.150 --> 25:14.360
rocking and holding the child’s face.
25:14.730 --> 25:18.280
And so we’ve harnessed all these natural soothers.
Kate
25:20.250 --> 25:23.846
Yes, we hug ourselves, too, at times.
Jondi
25:24.028 --> 25:27.594
Safe touch. Safe touch is
25:27.632 --> 25:30.938
so important. And you’ll see so many of
25:30.944 --> 25:34.774
the kids that were interrupted in their educational experience weren’t
25:34.822 --> 25:38.846
able to be in proximity, in safe touch
25:39.028 --> 25:42.366
and hugs. And you see what that did. I mean,
25:42.388 --> 25:45.694
we’re just learning so much about what we
25:45.732 --> 25:48.894
need as humans to thrive instead of just survive.
Kate
25:48.932 --> 25:52.302
That's wonderful, Jondi.
25:52.356 --> 25:55.780
You do important work.
Jondi
25:56.950 --> 26:00.706
Thank you. And so do you. And thanks for helping me pass the message
26:00.808 --> 26:04.614
that we want everyone to have everything that
26:04.652 --> 26:08.342
they can use to heal themselves and then somebody
26:08.396 --> 26:12.034
else around them.
Kate
26:12.162 --> 26:15.798
It's completely my pleasure and privilege.
26:15.964 --> 26:19.702
This is Kate Jones. Thank you for listening to this episode
26:19.766 --> 26:22.986
of The Gale Hill Radio Hour. Please share it
26:23.008 --> 26:26.134
with anyone you know who wants freedom
26:26.182 --> 26:30.378
from anxiety and other emotions that don’t necessarily
26:30.474 --> 26:34.638
serve us. And to learn more about tapping, please see
26:34.724 --> 26:37.838
Gale Hill Radio's episode 27,
26:37.924 --> 26:42.014
titled “EFT Trainer Jondi Whitis on Tapping
26:42.062 --> 26:45.746
for Emotional Freedom.” Until next time, thanks for
26:45.768 --> 26:46.240
joining us.