Emotional Well-Being with Jondi Whitis

Jondi Whitis' calling is helping others feel better fast. She's a master trainer in EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, otherwise known as “tapping.” In this episode, Jondi talks about what we can do to alleviate chronic anxiety. So many of us are feeling anxious these days because it seems that everything is coming at us all at once and all the time.

To get off that merry-go-round, you need tools that you can access at any time. Jondi says it doesn't matter whether you choose tapping or some other modality. Just find a practitioner you feel safe with, someone who can help you find the truth in what's bothering you. With the right technique for you, you'll have the power to help yourself — and others.

To learn more about Jondi and her work, please visit her website. Also, you could listen to a previous Gale Hill Radio episode that focuses more on tapping. It's episode 27, titled "EFT Trainer Jondi Whitis on Tapping for Emotional Freedom."

This is Kate Jones. Thank you for listening to The Gale Hill Radio Hour!

The show is available in Apple and Google Podcasts, Spotify and other podcast directories. Also on Substack and YouTube; Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.

Transcript

Kate 

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Hello and welcome to The Gale Hill Radio Hour.

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This is Kate Jones, here with Jondi Whitis,

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a master trainer in EFT whose

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calling is helping others feel better fast.

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EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques,

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otherwise known as tapping.

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Jondi, thanks so much for coming back on the show!

Jondi 

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A great pleasure. Always fun to be with you.

Kate 

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So fun for me as well. Emotional freedom…

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seems as if everyone could use more of that these days.

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With everything going on in the world and the constant stream

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of information and misinformation, we’re feeling

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pretty anxious. Are you finding that to be true in your work?

Jondi

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Absolutely. I don’t

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think we’ve ever had a greater percentage of people

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who describe themselves as feeling anxious. And in the past

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I used to hear them say, I’m worried. I’m worried all the time.

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Now that word has changed to anxious.

Kate

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Wow. So how do you

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define what’s going on in the world, what we’re feeling about

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what’s going on in the world?

Jondi

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Well, in professional terms, I think there’s chronic anxiety from unrest and uncertainty.

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And in Jondi speak, I think I’d say it’s everything

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all at once, all the time, every day.

Kate

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I like that. So the other question is,

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what can we do about it to help ourselves and

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the world?

Jondi

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Well, that is the million dollar question. I suspect there’s quite a few answers out there,

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but a lot of them share what I would call

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common sense and universal truths, as well

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as some modern solutions.

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Common sense would say it’s important

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that you find out what exactly that feeling,

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that outcome for you might be all about.

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Because after all, emotions are signals

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of information designed to help

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you not only survive, but maybe better.

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So the first thing everyone, I think, could agree on

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is if you find out what it is that

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upsets you the most or gives you worries, then you’re

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going to have a better chance of looking at it squarely and resolving

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it, of saying to yourself things like,

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"Well, I’m not sure that’s true, but it sure does feel that way,"

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or "I’m not sure this is anything

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that’s in my control." Then again,

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so much is not. So maybe I can tell the truth,

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very simply the truth about, well, I do feel

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out of control, and yet I know that’s not in my control.

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And therefore, well, what could I do about

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that very upsetting thing that’s outside of my control?

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So these are actually kind of cognitive habits.

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Thankfully, we also have much more. Modern medicine

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would say the last 30 years, especially the last

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ten, that says, you know, there’s something called

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the mind-body connection, which tells

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us how that cognitive information of I’m

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really upset is binging off.

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That’s my professional word, binging off.

Kate

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It sounds very professional!

Jondi

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Isn’t it? The feelings, which is also another word for sensations and

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emotions. These are all different things, slightly.

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All of that is binging back and forth and back and

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forth. And if we don’t stop and say,

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wait a minute, let’s see what exactly is going on,

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then we’re going to be encouraged just to do it faster and

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faster because this information deluge

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is coming at us from everywhere.

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So I don't think we’re encouraged to spend a lot

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of time sitting with,

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taking a moment, take five, take a breath.

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I don’t think we’re encouraged to do that. But in the last 30 years,

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we’ve learned how important it is for our body

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to be part of this solution.

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And that's where mind body, I say, well,

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it's probably better to say body mind, because if we

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treat the body, it’s going to be a faster path to

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the mind. I often say that the cognitive,

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the prefrontal cortex, is the last to know,

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right? This newest part of our evolutionary

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brain is the last to know. So if you want quick results, if you

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want to feel better fast, maybe we should not start here. 

Kate
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Interesting.

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You have said that

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all of us are healing agents. All of

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us can make it better. Quote unquote,

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“It all starts with me.”

Jondi

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I own it, yes.

Kate

“It’s all an inside job.”

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I think those are such

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empowering thoughts.

Jondi

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Thank you. I do too. And for a world that feels

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like it’s out of control and I am out of power and there’s nothing

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I can do, isn’t it very empowering

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to go, wait a minute, I am in control of me.

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I am in control of what I’m thinking, what I’m choosing to do

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about it. And in that we go

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all the way to the front of that paragraph, I am a healing agent

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for myself. And even better news, I can be a

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healing agent for others by showing up as my peaceful best

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self, as my grounded, put-together,

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best Jondi I can

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that is going to be a healing agent for all the people I come in

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contact with.

Kate

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That just makes me tingle all over because

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it's so incredible what

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you do for yourself, you do for other people as

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well.

Jondi

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And I’m sure you know a lot of people that are in the helping department or the helping professions,

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many of them were raised and conditioned to have

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to help others, to have to put others

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first, to have to do it till they

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dropped from exhaustion. It is a very old

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story of Americanism, and maybe it

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started with the Puritans, I don’t know, but it’s very popular. And in this way,

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you go, wait. What if

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it’s enough as a healing agent of helping other

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people that I simply show up ready,

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able, capable,

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calm to offer help

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instead of feeling compelled like I have to?

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No, I actually. Now that I’m grounded

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and calm, I can choose to show

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up. I can choose to be a healing agent. I can choose to

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offer, "Might I help you with that?

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How may I best support you? What would you have me

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do that would bring you some peace in this moment?"

Kate

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That is so beautiful.

Jondi

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I think we are beautiful when we’re in our best self, Kate. I do.

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And to get back to that state,

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though, is a tricky business these days, because we’re so

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hyper-reactive to the many, many triggers

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and prompts coming in,

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and we’re just not encouraged to take the time

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to do this. We may be saying, take a vacation or you should take a

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nap, you should take a bath, but that’s

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not really what we’re talking about. It’s a great idea.

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It’s a start, but it’s not really what we’re talking about.

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The kind of mindful, conscious self-care we’re

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talking about is knowing that I can help others even better,

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whether I’m compelled or I just want

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to. Even better when I am my best self. And my

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best self comes from slowing down,

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really getting some clarity about what is going on,

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what is mine to do, and how can I best go about

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that? If we do that, our outcomes are just guaranteed

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to be better than knee-jerk reactive responses,

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which I think we see a lot of those, whether they're in the

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street or at the grocery store, in Congress, it doesn’t matter.

Kate

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Wow. That’s really wonderful.

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So we need to believe these thoughts that we are powerful,

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that we have that within us to

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work on ourselves, to heal ourselves, to be our best selves.

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And then what steps

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do we take to do something with them? I really like

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the quote I read recently. It came

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from Joan Baez. The quote is,

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“Action is the antidote to despair.” So what

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are some ways we can take action?

Jondi

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Well, I’m not going to quibble with someone as brilliant as Joan,

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but I’m going to say taking conscious action is something

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that I would put in there, because anger left

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unexpressed becomes fury and rage.

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And the impetus of that emotion set

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is to take action. But if it’s unconsidered action.

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If it is unconscious action, things are not

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going to turn out so well. Right? So conscious

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action is what I would encourage. And I

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cannot do that in knee jerk. I can't do that in reactivity.

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I really can’t. And that's something I think we

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need people to take in. I used

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to say this phrase, feeling is believing when I was

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teaching them to tap. Because I said, you don’t have to believe me.

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I’m not here to convince you. I am here to introduce you

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to something that might be helpful, but you're going to be the judge

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based on what you feel and observe taking

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place within you. So,

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believing. Yeah, I do need to believe that before

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I’m going to put too much investment into action

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around something. But feeling

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into belief, I think, is a

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better way for me to be convinced because

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I can tell myself to do anything. I could tell myself

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to have willpower, be courageous, be brave.

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The rest of me is frequently not on board.

Kate

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That’s very right. What do

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we do about that? What do we do about believing

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it?

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I want to ask this question because it popped into my mind

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last night to ask you this, and it feels like

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maybe it’s taking away a little bit, but actually, I think

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it’s on target with what we’re talking about.

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What do you think are some of the best ways to achieve

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clarity, understanding and peace?

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And I think you need all of those to get to that sense

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of belief in your own power

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to heal an emotion, for instance.

Jondi

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Well, it’s a great combination, but I think

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they build on each other. Maybe it's not "but," maybe it’s "and." And they build

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on each other. At the risk of being very partisan,

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tapping is a wonderful way to achieve very

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fast clarity. I can only tell you that

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it allows all of your jangling

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thoughts to get out of the way and your nervous system to calm

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so that you have access, better access to your

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resourcefulness, to your knowledge, to your

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learning. So tapping is the

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quickest way I know to get there. But it doesn't really

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matter to me if you choose another modality. The idea is,

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I want to be clear about what's going on, because then

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I can understand it better. And if I can understand it better,

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then I see my role within it. And if I see my role

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within it and I can take action that’s in alignment with that role,

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I have peace.

Kate

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Bingo. I love it. That is terrific.

Jondi

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Excellent. Well, I’m glad I could help.

Kate

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Well, you have indeed. Okay. You have

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described tapping as a self-care tool

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anyone can do to navigate life experiences.

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“Tapping is about telling the simple truth,

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and the first person to tell it to is ourself.”

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Love that, Jondi.

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Me, too. Thank you. I’ve been working on my book for. I’m embarrassed to tell you how many years I get lost

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in several rabbit holes that I want to talk about.

Kate

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I understand that.

Jondi

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Well, I appreciate your forbearance there, but I do believe with all my heart that is true.

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And I have at least 20 years invested in this experimentation

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that keeps coming up with validation and results.

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So there are so many times that we

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are encouraged. I’m going to try to chunk this

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down. We are encouraged from the get-go by

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our supervising adults,

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whoever they may be, to do certain things that are

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really more about socialization and convenience

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than truth. So, from the

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get-go, we’re encouraged not to do or say

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what we feel, which I understand why. I’m just

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saying that. Right? “Stop crying. It’s really not that bad…

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Go kiss your Uncle Jim. You’re going to make him feel bad.

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What a bad person you are that you don’t just

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want to do this automatically… And I don’t know what's wrong with you, and why

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can’t you be like… And I don’t understand why you’re feeling bad about yourself…”

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But, I mean, look at all the stuff. It goes on and on and on

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and on. And before we know it, we’re conditioned

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into not believing ourselves and the feelings and emotions

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that are genuine and the actions we wish to

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take because of it. So we are very

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suppressive in that conditioned way for good

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reasons, I suppose. But as we get

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older, some people have

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never felt like they have permission to say,

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well, “How do I really feel? Well, what is my truth?

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Well, what do I want to do?” And it’s very

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sad to find a lot of adults in midlife that don’t know

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they’re allowed to even ask the question, much less

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take up the question and do something with

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it. So, in this way, I would just

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say, encouraging people in

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a safe environment,

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that means with somebody you feel good about or you trust,

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right? To say, could you sit for a

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minute and tell me, “Well, what’s your best guess

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about the truth of that for you?” Now you’re

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starting to introduce them to the fact that truth is somewhat conditional and

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very subjective and very personal. And you don’t

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have to get in a fight about universal truth, God’s truth, anybody else’s

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truth. You start where you are, which is always my

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solution. Start where you are. And you try to get

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to the simple truth of what might

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that be. The biggest truth I’ve ever

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heard is coming out of the kid’s mouth, of course:

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“I don’t know.” And I say, “That is

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wonderful that you know the truth is you don’t know yet.

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You probably haven’t had enough time to think about it

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or go check it out or find out or

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experiment. So that’s true. You just don’t

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know yet. It’s good to tell the truth.”

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And in that way, we start inculcating this idea of personal truth

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at the bottom of things, the foundation of things for

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people. And it’s never too old to learn that, by the

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way. It’s always liberating, no matter what.

Kate

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We’ve always got that little kid inside of us, don’t we?

Jondi

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Front and center. Live with her every day, right?

Kate

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Well, you have written a book about tapping and teaching

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with children, working with children, and using tapping.

Jondi

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True. I mostly feel like I’m a resource writer

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for people in the, I want to say,

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energy healing and modalities field. So I’ve

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got a couple out there that were really intended for people who work in that

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world. But it occurred to me, after I spent

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some time in the Newtown and Sandy Hook recovery project,

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it occurred to me that there were way too many school shootings

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happening all the time. As a matter of fact,

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I don’t know how many happened before I stopped working on that project.

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And I thought, we need to teach children how

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to take care of themselves better, and we need to teach children

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and the people who care for them how to quickly

18:41.532 --> 18:45.334

return to a resourceful state. So, in other words, I need an in-

18:45.372 --> 18:48.566

the-moment solution to come back to a centered,

18:48.598 --> 18:52.682

grounded place. So, body up. It’s not about

18:52.736 --> 18:56.182

thinking, because in that moment, all the blood is missing.

18:56.246 --> 19:00.030

It’s gone to our lower extremities for escape purposes.

19:00.770 --> 19:03.994

So we get kind of stupider the more fearful

19:04.042 --> 19:07.754

we are. And so we need body level up so the blood

19:07.802 --> 19:11.634

returns to our prefrontal cortex. And now

19:11.752 --> 19:14.900

we can be more resourceful with what we know to do.

19:15.750 --> 19:19.330

This is actually the theory behind fire drills.

19:19.670 --> 19:22.866

There’s a reason we do it so often. Get up

19:22.888 --> 19:26.694

from a seat. Take your butt out. No, because when you

19:26.732 --> 19:30.294

are under threat or surprise like that, you are not

19:30.332 --> 19:33.814

likely to be thinking clearly, which is why I

19:33.852 --> 19:37.082

have to embody and embed the information

19:37.216 --> 19:40.586

as an autopilot, automatic kind of

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response. So I thought, oh, well,

19:43.568 --> 19:46.778

we’ll just do some more of those. We’ll do some fire drills for self.

19:46.864 --> 19:50.686

We’ll do some emotional first aid. And so I

19:50.708 --> 19:55.162

took a lot of different energy modalities

19:55.226 --> 19:58.766

that I knew, and I adapted little pieces of them to make

19:58.788 --> 20:02.978

the smallest possible, easily learned, easily done,

20:03.064 --> 20:06.942

little packets of first aid.

20:07.086 --> 20:10.302

And so I called it compassion and action.

20:10.446 --> 20:13.906

And one of the subtitles is how to help kids in times of

20:13.928 --> 20:18.022

trouble or in troubling times. Cheap and available

20:18.156 --> 20:21.794

to everyone on Amazon because I want people to buy several

20:21.842 --> 20:25.286

copies. And here it is for the pediatric hospital. And here it is for the

20:25.308 --> 20:29.090

community center. Here it is for day camps.

20:29.180 --> 20:32.502

I really want to spread that kind of helpful

20:32.566 --> 20:36.730

information to everyone.

Kate

20:36.800 --> 20:40.782

Yes. And it’s got illustrations. It’s a really accessible book

20:40.916 --> 20:44.750

and very charming.

Jondi

20:44.820 --> 20:48.846

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. In the middle, there is sort of a section of charts that would make it

20:48.868 --> 20:52.286

easy for the adult or the administrator to be

20:52.308 --> 20:54.754

able to get to. And I’ve told many people,

20:54.872 --> 20:58.130

Xerox those charts in the middle and laminate them

20:58.200 --> 21:01.650

and hang them on the wall. Just make them, because,

21:01.720 --> 21:04.646

you know us, we’re like, oh, where did I put that now that I need

21:04.668 --> 21:08.486

it? Because we can’t think very well when we’re upset. And I

21:08.508 --> 21:11.942

just supplied some to another project that’s taking place

21:11.996 --> 21:15.558

in Kenya and Uganda for their bush schools. And that’s what

21:15.564 --> 21:18.578

I asked them to do. “I’m going to give you the books, and now you

21:18.604 --> 21:22.826

raise a little bit of money to laminate them at

21:22.848 --> 21:26.106

your store in the capital so that you can take them out into the

21:26.128 --> 21:29.230

bush and they’ll be long lasting. 

Kate

21:29.970 --> 21:34.202

That’s terrific. So how do people find out more about tapping,

21:34.266 --> 21:37.742

about your work? I know you have, well, you mentioned

21:37.796 --> 21:40.400

one of your books. You have your books, your website.

21:41.570 --> 21:44.874

How do you want people to find out more?

Jondi

21:45.012 --> 21:49.154

I think it’s probably easy to find me at the website, which is — I made

21:49.192 --> 21:52.706

a new one because the old one was getting complex and

21:52.728 --> 21:56.450

I wanted to be really simple. And it’s jondiwhitis.squarespace.com

21:56.610 --> 22:00.934

because Squarespace has gotten really very popular so

22:00.972 --> 22:04.486

that you can buy, sell, talk, you can do everything kind of

22:04.508 --> 22:08.394

through there that’s already set up. So that

22:08.432 --> 22:12.058

is a good place to find out what you're looking for. Were you looking for

22:12.144 --> 22:16.246

a conversation? Were you looking to be trained professionally?

22:16.438 --> 22:20.414

Because this tool that’s for self-care can be used for self-care and,

22:20.452 --> 22:24.026

in practiced hands, peer-to-peer care and, in very practiced

22:24.058 --> 22:28.142

hands, therapeutic care. So there’s every different level of use

22:28.196 --> 22:31.470

for it. I have mentoring. I have special

22:31.540 --> 22:35.086

events where I will either show a movie

22:35.118 --> 22:38.498

and have discussions, or I will have emotional first aid classes a couple

22:38.504 --> 22:42.386

of times a year. I call it rapid regulation and

22:42.488 --> 22:46.002

relief because that seems to tell people

22:46.056 --> 22:50.066

what it really does. And a lot of people don’t understand emotional

22:50.098 --> 22:53.670

first aid. They go, well, I’m not emotional or, oh, no,

22:53.740 --> 22:56.586

I don’t need any help with that. Or what do you mean? I like my

22:56.608 --> 23:00.826

emotions. So I went, I better name it what it does.

23:01.008 --> 23:03.450

Rapid regulation and relief.

Kate

23:03.790 --> 23:06.540

Yes. And relief is a nice word.

Jondi

23:07.970 --> 23:11.274

It is. 

Kate

Is there anything else you’d

23:11.322 --> 23:15.470

like to say on the subject of healing ourselves and/

23:15.540 --> 23:18.778

or healing the world?

Jondi

23:18.874 --> 23:21.380

Goodness, so much! So I’m trying to boil it down.

23:23.350 --> 23:27.742

I would like so much if you could give any modality

23:27.886 --> 23:31.746

a go that would help you to sit

23:31.928 --> 23:35.686

or stay for a moment just

23:35.788 --> 23:40.102

long enough to get a little more information before we

23:40.156 --> 23:43.494

take reactive action. That, I think,

23:43.532 --> 23:47.082

would make a huge difference in the world. So whether you’re using an

23:47.136 --> 23:50.700

app that we created with my friend Manoj Krishna called

23:51.150 --> 23:54.220

better me, happier me. Excuse me, HappierMe.

23:54.590 --> 23:58.074

It used to be called the Human Wisdom project, but it’s a little app

23:58.112 --> 24:01.754in your pocket. And the reason that we created that was another cheap

24:01.802 --> 24:05.598

resource that everybody could carry with them anywhere.

24:05.764 --> 24:09.406

Or if you hear of another modality that you would like — 

24:09.428 --> 24:13.238

another one that I love is called Havening. There are various levels

24:13.274 --> 24:17.090

you could use that. It doesn’t matter to me what you use,

24:17.240 --> 24:21.058

because the best way to get it is from somebody you trust

24:21.224 --> 24:24.610

in a moment of calm and peace that you

24:24.680 --> 24:28.326

take yourself. So that’s going to be your decision. “Will I

24:28.348 --> 24:31.862

take a moment and get off the merry-go-round in order

24:31.916 --> 24:35.400

to get a little better tools, a little better information,

24:35.790 --> 24:39.594

and give myself the peace I’m looking for? 

Kate

24:39.712 --> 24:44.026

Yes, that’s wonderful. And something that a person can use

24:44.128 --> 24:47.658

every single day and multiple times a day,

24:47.824 --> 24:51.006

if necessary, whenever something comes up.

Jondi

24:51.108 --> 24:54.974

Just take a moment. Self-soothing is

24:55.012 --> 24:58.574

something that we’re designed to do as humans. That’s why you'll see

24:58.612 --> 25:00.320

people go to a little kid,

25:02.630 --> 25:06.206

and then you will see a little kid sitting with their blanket

25:06.238 --> 25:09.380

or their thumb sometimes, and they’ll be going like this,

25:10.150 --> 25:14.360

rocking and holding the child’s face.

25:14.730 --> 25:18.280

And so we’ve harnessed all these natural soothers.

Kate

25:20.250 --> 25:23.846

Yes, we hug ourselves, too, at times.

Jondi

25:24.028 --> 25:27.594

Safe touch. Safe touch is

25:27.632 --> 25:30.938

so important. And you’ll see so many of

25:30.944 --> 25:34.774

the kids that were interrupted in their educational experience weren’t

25:34.822 --> 25:38.846

able to be in proximity, in safe touch

25:39.028 --> 25:42.366

and hugs. And you see what that did. I mean,

25:42.388 --> 25:45.694

we’re just learning so much about what we

25:45.732 --> 25:48.894

need as humans to thrive instead of just survive.

Kate

25:48.932 --> 25:52.302

That's wonderful, Jondi.

25:52.356 --> 25:55.780

You do important work.

Jondi

25:56.950 --> 26:00.706

Thank you. And so do you. And thanks for helping me pass the message

26:00.808 --> 26:04.614

that we want everyone to have everything that

26:04.652 --> 26:08.342

they can use to heal themselves and then somebody

26:08.396 --> 26:12.034

else around them.

Kate

26:12.162 --> 26:15.798

It's completely my pleasure and privilege.

26:15.964 --> 26:19.702

This is Kate Jones. Thank you for listening to this episode

26:19.766 --> 26:22.986

of The Gale Hill Radio Hour. Please share it

26:23.008 --> 26:26.134

with anyone you know who wants freedom

26:26.182 --> 26:30.378

from anxiety and other emotions that don’t necessarily

26:30.474 --> 26:34.638

serve us. And to learn more about tapping, please see

26:34.724 --> 26:37.838

Gale Hill Radio's episode 27,

26:37.924 --> 26:42.014

titled “EFT Trainer Jondi Whitis on Tapping

26:42.062 --> 26:45.746

for Emotional Freedom.” Until next time, thanks for

26:45.768 --> 26:46.240

joining us.